I Could Pee on This

How's that for a title?  Imagine my delight when this little gem came through the library the other day. Naturally I snatched it up.

The Basics
Marciuliano, Francesco. I Could Pee on This. San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2012. Print.

What's not to love about a book of cat poetry? This collection features poems all written from the perspective of furry, felonious feline companions (No. I could not resist that alliteration). The author also writes the comic strip Sally Forth and has worked for the Onion and various other outlets. Unsurprisingly, his book of poetry is hilarious.

The Book
No, really, did I mention it was hilarious? If you're a cat lover or have lived with a cat, you'll find something in this collection to satisfactorily drive you to giggles. From the titular poem on, this book had me in hysterics.

There's really not much else to tell, so I'll let the book speak for itself with a few excerpts, read to you of course, by Sebastian R. Gato:

     Oh Christmas Tree

     

     O please

     O come on

     O like you didn't know

     What you were getting for Christmas

     Before I ripped open all your gifts

     O by the way

     The tree looks better on its side

     O I really do think so

Right in time for the holidays, don't you think? Or this one: 

     Most Amusing

     HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

     HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

     Hahahahahahahaha

     Haha Haha Ha

     That dog is wearing a sweater

Accompanied of course with a photo of a dog in a sweater.

Or my personal favorite:

     Kubla Kat

     On the edge of a laughing teacup

     Did Kubla Kat decree

     That the corn fritter festooned with medals

     Shall make the brownies free

     And so the walls turned to water

     To let our sorrows drown

     And the chairs burned themselves for warmth

                                                               So they need not face the clown

                                                               Then the spoons burst into song

                                                               And all the forks they understood

                                                               As I stared at my now talking claws

                                                               Because this catnip is just that good

Hehheh. An important thing to remember is that poetry is meant to be read aloud. And this stuff really benefits from a bit of theatrical flair. I had great fun cracking my family up with dramatic readings of particularly pertinent selections. So, go grab a copy; it'll have you in stitches. Also, it's size makes it an ideal stocking stuffer.